The effect of divorce on children сочинение

Обновлено: 04.07.2024

situation when their parents are going to divorce. This usually effects their future greatly. Daughters from female-headed households are much more likely than daughters from two-parent families to themselves become single parents and to rely on welfare for support as adults. Living with a single mother at age 16 increases a daughter's risk of becoming a household head by 72 percent for whites and 100 percent for blacks. The contrast becomes even sharper if the comparison is between daughters continuously living in two-parent families with daughters living with an unmarried mother at any time between ages 12 and 16: 'Exposure to single motherhood at some point during adolescence increases the risk of a daughter's later becoming a household head by nearly 1 1/2 times for whites and by about 100 percent for blacks.' The public costs of this differential emerge in figures showing that a daughter loving in a single-parent household at any time during adolescence is far more likely (127 percent more likely among whites, 164 percent among blacks) to receive welfare benefits as an adult, compared to daughters from two-parent households. Researchers have known for some time that girls raised in a female-headed household are much more likely to become unwed teen mothers that are girls much raised in two parent families. In a major new study, Professor William Marsigilio of Oberlin College has documented a parallel pattern for unmarried teenage fathers. In a survey of more than 5,500 young American men, Dr. Marsigilio found that 'males who had not lived with two parents at age 14 were over represented in the subsample of teenage fathers. Only 17 percent of all young men surveyed lived in one-parent households at age 14; yet, among the boys who had fathered an illegitimate child as a teenager, almost 30 percent came from single-parent households. In other words, teen boys from one-parent households are almost twice as likely to father a child out of wedlock as teen boys from two-parent families.

So, it's quite evident, from the facts above, the problems connected with divorce are of vital importance nowadays and this process influences on the lives of children and their parents. But children are the main victims in this situation as they are not protected psychologically. Children don't have to suffer with life long scars of their parents divorce. Parents should always put bad feelings aside for the sake of the kids, because the children are part of both of you. Hopefully the children will grow up with a good relationship with both parents and will one day be able to acknowledge that their parents co-operated with each other because of their common love of their child.

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children to be considered. What is best for the child? Who will get custody?

Will the child be scarred for life? It?s really hard to say. The overall

effects on our children vary according to the factors involved. I am going to

attempt to discuss a few of the problems that can occur with children of

divorced families and what parents can do to ease the transition. I will limit

this discussion to infantile age thru early elementary aged children. Let?s

start with understanding the parents role concerning being together or being

apart. Obviously, two parents can provide children with far more guidance,

sustenance, and protection than one, and are more likely to prevent the kinds of

psychological disturbance that may result from deprivations of these necessities

…When one parent is temporarily absent from the intact home, it is likely that

the other will be available to ratify the child?s needs in a loving way. This

is not so readily the situation in the divorced home. ( Gardner, 1977). In this

statement he illustrates the importance of having both parents together. This

can be emphasized further with a statement from Buchanan, Maccoby, and Dornbusch

(1996). Children?s parents are their anchors. Parents provide the structure

for children?s daily lives, and even when parents are not functioning very

well, children depend on them for a sense of security that enables them to cope

with their developmental tasks. When one parent leaves the home, the child

realizes a shattering possibility; parents are not always there. It is not hard

to realize that divorce can have a devastating effect on children. Let?s brake

it down by age groups; infants, toddlers, and so on. DeBorg (1997) states that

infants ?do not understand conflict, but may react to changes in parents

energy level and mood.? She goes on to list possible reactions like ?loss of

appetite; upset stomach – may spit up more; more fretful or anxious.? She says

that ?parents should keep their normal routines,? and ?stay calm in front

of the child.? Toddlers ?understand that a parent has moved away, but

doesn?t understand why.? I know that my son was very confused. He was only

two when my wife and I separated. He seemed to display allot of anger and

insecurity. DeBorg says that a toddlers reactions could include ?more crying,

clinging; problems sleeping; regression to infant behaviors; and worry when

parent is out of sight.? My son, his name is Cody, definitely fits this

profile. He cried constantly. It seemed that nothing would calm him down. If you

got him to go to sleep, good luck keeping him there. As far as infant behaviors

go, his biggest problems were wanting to be rocked like when he was younger and

trying to go back to the bottle. DeBorg say to ?allow some return to infantile

behaviors, but set clear limits.? Easier said than done I can assure you.

Preschoolers ?don?t understand what separation or divorce means,? they

?realize one parent is not as active in his or her life? (DeBorg, 1997).

Their reactions could include ?pleasant and unpleasant fantasies; feeling

uncertain about the future; feeling responsible; and they may hold their anger

inside.? Deborg?s first strategy listed for parents is to ?encourage the

child to talk.? This makes sense if you are concerned with straitening out

these issues of anger and feeling responsible. It seems to be the only way to

really understand your child?s problems. Gardner (1977, p. 42) talks of

something called the ?oedipal phase.? He explains that this occurs between

ages three and five. ?This is the period… when a child develops a strong

possessive attachment to the opposite-sexed parent.? Gardner says that ?at

times the attraction can take on mildly sexual overtones toward the

opposite-sexed parent…?, but ?the sexual desires are generally not for

intercourse, the child being too young to appreciate that act.? He explains

that ?if a boy begins sleeping in Mother?s bed thoughout the night, an a

continual basis, the likelihood that oedipal problems will arise is great…

this holds true for a father and daughter when they are the ones who remain

together following the separation?(p. 91). Learning of this has raised my

concerns for my son. His mother lets him sleep with her every night, and she

believes nothing is wrong with the arrangement. This is a factor I will deal

with on my own, as soon as I figure out what to do. Continuing on to early

elementary age, children?s understanding becomes more apparent. DeBorg (1997)

says that children ?begin to understand what divorce is,? and ?understand

that her or his parents won?t live together anymore and that they may not love

each other as before.? Reactions, as she describes, could include feelings of

deception and a sense of loss. Children have ?hopes that parents will get back

together,? and ?feel rejected by the parent who left.? Children of this

age can have symptoms of illness like ?loss of appetite, sleep problems,

diarrhea? and may ?complain of headaches or stomach aches.? DeBorg does

not list any ways of curving these symptoms of illness, however she does list

some strategies for helping these children adjust. She writes, ?encourage the

child to talk about how he or she feels; answer all questions about changes…;

and reassure the child.? From my standpoint, these ideas hold true regardless

of the situation. You should always encourage your children to talk about there

feelings and always take them seriously. A word of advice: Children can adjust

to divorce. It is years of subsequent fighting between their parents, or an

inappropriate child custody plan that can take a terrible toll? (Olsen, 1998).

So if you want to help your children succeed, then help them adjust to your

divorce together; mom and dad. Never let them feel that they cannot have a

relationship with the other parent if at all possible.

Gardner, R. A. (1977). The Parents Book About Divorce. Garden City, NY:

Doubleday & Company, Inc. Buchanan, C. M., Maccoby, E. E., & Dornbusch,

S. M. (1996). Adolescents After Divorce. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University

Press. DeBorg, K. (1997). Focus on Kids: The Effects of Divorce On Children.

Since there is a lot discussion of the effects of divorce on children, I choose this to be my topic. In 1991 Amato and Keith (researchers) examined the results of 92 studies using 13,000 children ranging from preschool to young adults to determine what the overall results indicated. The overall result of this study was that children from divorced families are on "average" somewhat worse off than children who have lived in nuclear families. These children have more trouble in school, more behavior problems, more negative self-concepts, more problems with peers, and more trouble getting along with their parents.

Overall, the children are more alike than different. Amato tells us that average differences do not mean that all children in divorced families are worse off than all children in intact families. One way to examine this issue is illustrated by findings of Mavis Hetherington. Hetherington, like many others, finds these average differences, but she also looked at some of her measures and examined the degree to which children in divorced and intact families were more severely impaired.

Here we find some important differences. On a measure of behavioral problems, Hetherington reports that 90% of adolescent boys and girls in intact families were within the normal range on problems and 10% had serious problems that we would generally require some type of help. The percentages for divorced families were 74% of the boys and 66% of the girls in the normal range and 26% of the boys and 34% of the girls were in the negative scale.

The differences between children in different kinds of families are parental Loss, economic loss, more stress, poor parental adjustment, and exposure to interparental conflict.

All experts will agree that any life altering change is effective on a child’s life. I personally do not see how anyone could argue that divorce is not life altering. Parents may try to make the child feel that things are the same, but for a young child especially it has to be near impossible to understand why mommy and daddy don’t love each other anymore. This would be traumatic for anyone, young or old.

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The effect of divorce on children сочинение

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